Information service of the Pontifical Mission Societies since 1927
Castel Gandolfo (Agenzia Fides) – On September 26, in the Apostolic Palace of Castel Gandolfo, the Holy Father Benedict XVI met with participants in an international meeting of the "Retrouvaille" Association, which has been working over 30 years to help married couples in crisis through the committed efforts of other couples and priests.
“I have been impressed, dear friends, by your experience that leads you to come in contact with families marked by marital crises,” the Pope said in his address. “Certainly in our day, one of the greatest emergencies we see is that of the separations and divorces...You are not professionals, you are married people who in many cases have experienced the same difficulties yourselves, and you have overcome them with the grace of God and the support of Retrouvaille, experiencing in your turn the desire and joy of placing your experience at the service of others. Among you are a number of priests who accompany the married people on their journey, offering them the Word and the Bread of Life.”
The Holy Father then mentioned the fact that the marital crisis, when it is serious and grave, has two faces. On the one hand, there is the negative face, which makes it appear to be a failure, a sign that the dream is over or that it has become a nightmare, and therefore, “there’s nothing more to do.” “But there is another face, one we are often unaware of, but that God sees,” the Pope continued. “In fact, as nature shows us, each crisis is a passage to a new phase of life. Although in animals this occurs in an automatic manner, in man it implies the use of freedom, will, and therefore, a ‘hope that is greater’ than despair.” If in the darkest moments, spouses have lost hope, it is then that the need arises for other persons who, “with utmost respect, but also with the sincere will to do good, are ready to share some of their own hope with those who have lost it.” Addressing the participants in the "Retrouvaille" Association, the Pope affirmed: “Thus, in the moment of the break-up, you become a positive reference for the couples, in which they can trust in face of despair. In fact, when the relationship degenerates, spouses fall into loneliness, both individually and as a couple. They lose the horizon of communion with God, with others and with the Church. It is then that your meetings offer a 'handhold' so as not to lose the way altogether and gradually to climb back up the slope. I see you as guardians of a greater hope for the couples who have lost it.”
Although the crisis between married persons can be considered a “way to grow,” we should never forget that every Christian marriage “even the most unstable and wavering one,” can find in humility the courage to ask the Lord’s help, Benedict XVI said. “When married couples in difficulties or - as your experience shows - already separated, entrust themselves to Mary and turn to Him Who made them 'a single flesh', they can be certain that the crisis will - with the help of the Lord - become a way to grow, and that love will be purified, matured and reinforced. Only God can do this... It is He who can revive the flame and make it burn again, not, of course, as when falling in love, but in a different way, more intense and profound."
Concluding his address, the Pope assured them of his prayer for all those affiliated with their Association, with the hope that their work may not “become mere activity, but always be a testimony of God’s love.” He continued, saying: “Yours is a 'counter-cultural' service. Today, in fact, when a couple goes into crisis, many people are to be found who advise them to separate. Divorce is even easily proposed to people married in the name of the Lord, forgetting that man cannot separate what God has brought together. In order to achieve your mission, you need to nourish your spiritual life continually, to put love into what you do so that contact with difficult situations does not cause your hope to run dry or be reduced to a mere formula.” (SL) (Agenzia Fides 29/9/2008)
